Reality Check

LA PAZ (TPM) - The UK got the wake up call it so sorely needed today when charity 'Rythmix' told Syco Productions Fuhrer Cowell "Stop using our name on X-Factor or we'll fucking sue your badly trousered ass!"

A spokesperson for Rythmix said "We're a charity, we're always grateful of celebrity affiliation and publicity but not at any fucking cost. The chubby one in that shit band with our name run by the Greek lass looks like a shaved Ewok."

Fans of the show were asked for their reaction, if the name of the band is important, "Dunno who you're talking about mate. Misha B's still innit though right? Misha B's still there yeah? Oh an Frankie yeah?  Aww I luv im!"

X Factor Management conceded that when it found out it had effectively been stamping around like a retarded Goliath on the reputation of an honourable organisation the decision to relent and change the name came after executives discussed the topic with a series of grunts and snorts.

The thrust of the discussion was centred on whether the band could survive a change this late in the game, whether the existing name had actually penetrated the hearts and minds of the nation. Had the name resonated with their fan base and laid the foundation of their longevity. This was before they realised they'd forgotten who the fuck they were taking about.

The charity, who help the disadvantaged young of the South East create and record their own music, were asked if they would like to work closer with X Factor, and perhaps look to get some of their students to stand in the 8 hour queue to receive ritual humiliation or fleeting glory. "Don't be fucking daft, I hope our kids have got more dignity than that. It's not that I've got anything against the judges, I just think they're all c^$£s."

A media commentator speculated this must be how people with values view the show "A couple of genuinely talented and fame hungry individuals are surrounded by the talentless and desperate, like slurry round a fence post. Hey, if a charity is distancing itself from this money machine surely that is the litmus test for pure evil right? But I'm still hypnotised by that bullshit, ITV Saturday night Baby!"

When Simon was asked for his comment he peaked over the top of his belt to say "Meh."